Sad

Well I wish I could say that I am still having a baby in July, but I am no longer. I have been in this really strange prencency from the start. When I first went to the doc they couldn't find a baby in me. A few days after that I was in the ER with bleeding and cramping. I went back to the doc and still no baby. I guess the baby was never in there according to the doc. He couldn't find any sign of a baby. So I have been having a miscarage for almost 2 weeks. I go back to the doc on Jan 25th to see if there is the slightest chance a baby has started to develope if not and if I havn't miscaraged on my own all the way yet I will have to get a D and C done. This has to be one of my great trails I have had to face in my life. I am so greatful for a loving family and for friends that are there to help me and offer words of encouragement. I guess I just never thought this would happen, but I know the Lord gives us trails for our understanding. I have passed the crying and anger phase of this and I have come to accept this even though it has been hard. I pray now for comfort and love to get through all of this. I know that the Lord will watch over me. I also know that if he wants me to have another child it will come on his time. I think that was the hardest thing for me to understand through all of this. I love Maddie and Mckenzie so much. I love Jason so much for helping me get through this. My children are my life and I am so greatful I have the two of sweetest girls in the world. I guess our little family will have to wait and see what is in store for us.